Book Review: The Lookout by Colin Dereham

Ever read a book where you slam your eReader down and give it an evil glare? Where you yell at it, “You can sit there for ten minutes and when I pick you back up, I better not have read what I think I just read.” Yeah, this was that kind of book.

Title: The Lookout
Series: N/A
Author: Colin Dereham
Publisher: Pink Flamingo Media
Release Date: December 14, 2021
Heat Level: 7/5 – this is Scoville Scale HOT – like Carolina Reaper Spicy
Pairing: M/M
Length: 149 pages
Genre: Gay Erotica, Erotic Fiction
Tags: Gay, M/M/M, Roommates to Lovers, Throuple, Mental Health
Content Warnings: Death of a main character, suicide

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When he advertises the vacant bedroom in his apartment on a gay houseshare site, sexy teddy bear Angus ends up with more than he bargained for. Tall, dark and handsome otter Tom and blond muscle-bear Patrick couldn’t be more different in personality, but Angus is so taken with them that he asks both men to move in. After a boozy first night together culminates in a skinny dip in the complex’s swimming pool, Angus, Tom and Patrick fall into bed with each other. The explosive chemistry between them continues throughout a hot spring and summer. Days spent on the beach blend into nights of wild passion in Angus’s huge bed, which all three inevitably end up sharing.

Fun, upbeat Patrick and quiet, affectionate Tom are everything Angus could have wished for. His nurturing side kicks in, creating a happy home for all three.

With Patrick working over the Christmas period, Tom and Angus go to visit Angus’s family in the country. When they return, Patrick has changed. He’s distant and sullen; there’s no sign of the vibrant, happy man they’ve known for the past few months. At first, Angus thinks Patrick may be jealous of the close bond he’s developing with Tom. He and Tom pull out all the stops to make Patrick feel as loved as possible, but their efforts go unnoticed. Then a chance discovery in the kitchen bin leads Angus to think there may be darker reasons for the change in Patrick’s personality.

Tensions brew until late one night, when a disastrous phone call brings Angus’s world crashing down around him. Desperately trying to make sense of what happened, Angus must rely on the love and support of others around him to slowly pick up the pieces and rebuild their happy home.

My Review:

Holy hot damn.

Dereham is a ‘new to me author’, and when I saw an advertisement on Instagram featuring three men on the cover, I was intrigued. I just finished major edits to my latest novel which is M/M/M and I thought…I should read someone else’s.

So I picked up Dereham’s book. Now, he did warn me that the content could be triggering. But I thought to myself, damn, I write about demons, and monsters, and blood and gore, violence…what could possibly be so triggering.

OMG. Just…I almost couldn’t. I was CRUSHED.

Crushed as in…Polyamory isn’t represented real well. Society has engrained this version of love as two people in a committed relationship (well, okay, most of the time it’s far more heteronormative, but let’s be more open-minded than that, shall we?) The concept of three guys coming together and not only being sexually attracted to one another, but also able to have a loving, supportive, and healthy relationship shouldn’t be an odd thing. Listen, if you find your one and only and you’re happy with that, fantastic! You go, gurl. But for some folks, there’s enough space in their hearts for more than one. I think that’s beautiful. I won’t romanticize throuplehood either – hell, I’m a guy who’s been in a long-term, committed relationship with a fantastic man for 24 years. Intimate relationships with one other person has challenges. The dynamics that flow with three people? Exponentially more tough to navigate – I would think.

Now, I’m not gonna lie – the concept of sharing your bed each night with two others is also hot as hell. Dereham does not shy away from this, and as listed in the Genre category in the header of this post I have stated this is erotica. There is boundless amounts of sex. Hot, wet, spicy, furry, gay sex. OMG.

I read most of this on the train to and from work and I had to – *ahem* – settle, before I could walk off.

So, if you’re looking for scalding hot, get your fan out, and a cold drink – cause you gonna need it – then the first two thirds of this book is for you.

And then…

Remember when I said polyamory isn’t always represented really well? That it’s tough to find stories of throuples where jealousy doesn’t rear its ugly head, ultimately destroying the relationship? I thought for sure this is where Dereham was taking this. And it got played out…for pages…and I kept turning every page thinking…here we go…this is where it all falls to shit.

And then Dereham completely gutted me. I hate writing reviews where the reviewer ends up spoiling the plot twist – and I do not want to do that here. All I’ll say is this…

The demise of the throuple had nothing to do with jealousy, or the inability of three people to have a loving, committed relationship. It had everything to do with mental health. Absolutely gutted. I went from holy fox dens this is hot to, what the fuck just happened?

I almost cried. Seriously. I’m a tough old bitch. It takes a lot to take me there. Even writing this, I’m still aghast. Reflecting back on the events in the story, it was all there, right in front of your face. The mental health issue was done so well. You just didn’t see the signs until it was all too late. I lived with someone many, many years ago who was (I believe and will always believe), textbook, undiagnosed bi-polar. I’m not a doctor, it could have been many other things…but reliving that period of my life through this book…damn. Just damn.

Dereham has a full length novel, Hound, and I’ve already bought it.

I’m going to leave off the review with this message that the author gave to me, and one I support a hundred and ten percent:

“What I wouldn’t give to be there, to beg him to come down, to pull him into my arms and make him believe it’s worth staying.”

Many of us have grappled with depression and thoughts of self-harm. If this is you, please remember you are not alone. The phone numbers below are available 24/7. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
I’m rooting for you—Colin Dereham.

Lifeline 13 11 14

National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1800 273 8255

The Canada Suicide Prevention Service 1833 456 4566

Supportline: 01708 765200

My Rating:

Purchase Links:

Amazon | Pink Flamingo Media

Meet the Author:

Colin Dereham lives in sunny Sydney, Australia, in a gay household with two demanding Italian greyhounds. After a lengthy career in LGBT health, Colin finally got around to capturing the maelstrom of ideas in his head and putting them down on paper. A self-confessed gay fiction and romance junkie, Colin’s writing mission is to push the erotic envelope in these genres as far as it will go, with a strong focus on realistic gay characters and accurate representation of gay relationships and intimacy.

Amazon | Smashwords | Instagram | Website


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